Oh, Central Casting. This Is Who You Gave Me To Date?

Him:
“Wow, I never think of other people. It would never have occurred to me to not do xxx because it might annoy other folks.”

“I so never really think about other people.”

“India is so interesting because they still have this amazing feudal system so the rich people are really rich and the poor people are really poor. I love it.”

Me:
“I’m getting the impression you’re a little self-oriented.”

Him:
“Omigod, you b****. How could you say something like that. Why would you judge me?”

Me:
“Well, based on what you said.”

Him:
“Why would you take that at face value?”

Me:
“Because I’ve known you for 3 days.”

Him:
“But I totally give off a vibe that I’m not really like that at all. I can’t believe you’re drawing conclusions about me based on our second date.”

Me:
“Isn’t that what dates are for?”

Him:
“I’m not perfect. Your idea about relationships is so f****** up. You need therapy.”

30 MINS PAUSE.

Him:
“I just want you to know, I have no negative feelings toward you. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow and be so mad at myself for talking to you like that. The truth is, I think we need each other.”

Me:
“Taxi!”