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I have always been an apple. Ever since Central school. The only way I kept down to a 139 was to starve and exercise. I looked too thin and I still weighed too much to model. Then they put me on medicine that made me gain 117 lbs. I lost sixty lbs of that, through diet and exercise. But I never want to look like a model again. Most of them are anorexic or junkies and have sleazy sex. Many try to commit suicide. I’d rather eat healthy and exercise and have a few extra lbs than deal with all that unwanted stuff. I guess I can’t be a model now, but I’m still pretty I guess, otherwise I wouldn’t have men checking me out while they’re with other women. Sucks to be a guy and always want tail. But I can relate. I have extra testosterone as an apple. Sometimes I get very competitive, but I’m not type A. Although I’d rather break someones face than put up with BS. But thats not ladylike so I don’t really go around punching men or anything. Even though this annoying guy got me so upset.
I can relate to wanting a relationship. But to flirt with anything and then say your just friends is too much for me. If you want to be my friend, great, wonderful. I’ll try to enjoy shooting the breeze with you. No problem. But then theres this whole, checking me out but we’re just friends business that drives me up a wall. If I’m that bad looking, do me a favor and don’t lead me on. I enjoy attractive men. And I can be thier friend because most of them are out of control anyway and I don’t want to have my heart broken. But to tell me your my friend and then look like you want to mount me is too much for me to deal with. ANd I’m sorry, I don’t enjoy that kind of attention. It leads to men learing at me and I know I’m hot but I don’t need to feel dirty, thank you very much.
Its easier for me to lose weight once I get motivated because I am an apple. And I feel better than ever now that I’m eating good. But to deal with strange men getting excited around me is too much. And I even make not to jokey comments about macing men who grab at me because its happened too many times to remember.
Yeah I’m pretty good looking, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any morals and I don’t want to share my life with a rebrobate. My grandfather was pretty wild and took care of my grandmother. But if it was me, I would be too scared of what would happen to me if I married someone like him. I was so embarrassed growing up with my wild brothers. I think I handled it pretty well and I can forgive them. And my extra testosterone helped me survive the fights. But I really don’t want to go out with someone who is so wild and unpredictable. I’ve had guys who want me and they just scared me half to death. And I didn’t encourage them one bit because they weren’t respectful. But now that my nickname is J-lo, most guys haven’t wanted to date me and I’m not sure if its my name or cause I’m big, or what. It didn’t stop them before. and if it didn’t sound like J-lo, I might not be so alone right now.
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