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by Millard Scott
Just about everyone has been through a break up in their life at some point. Many things in life become easier, the more you do them, but break ups never get any easier to endure.
Many people that go through a break up will desire to get back their ex, especially if they had strong feelings for their partner. If you have been in a relationship in which you had to endure physical, or verbal abuse, then you are much better off to let it end and never look to get involved with that person again. To go back into a situation like that, would be to invite the same type of treatment next time around. Consider yourself lucky to be out of the relationship.
Most relationships seem to follow a predictable pattern. When you meet initially, everything seems to be just wonderful and new. It seems your partner can do no wrong, nor can you in their eyes. Later on a certain amount of comfort settles in and you adjust to each other, then the trouble usually starts. When the newness of the relationship has faded away and the comfort is still there, then things will begin to change. The small things that once didn’t bother you now become hard for you to overlook.
Remember the saying: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words could never be spoken for relationships. After a couple gets comfortable and familiar with each other, the trouble usually follows. This is the thing that tests the strength of a relationship. It takes some effort and work to keep a relationship going. Sometimes when things go wrong, instead of fixing things up, the other person wants to get out of the relationship completely.
If you have just went through a break up in a relationship and you think that it is worth as effort to save it, here are 5 tips that can be of help.
1. Apologize to your partner
Saying that you are sorry is one thing that you can do to start the healing process. If you really have done something wrong then apologize and make it sincere. Don’t over apologize to the point of sounding pathetic. If you are at fault for something, then just apologize once and move on.
Sometimes when you admit fault it can lead to an argument, so don’t let your ex bait you into another fight. If your ex brings something else up, just stay calm and don’t get defensive. You must keep your emotions in check.
2. Talk things out
Take some time for the both of you to sit down and have a good talk. Never use your emotions to attempt to force your ex into this discussion. If they do not want to do this, then simply move on to the next step. If they do agree to the discussion you will want to stay calm and unemotional during the talk. Make sure your ex understands that the purpose of the talk is not to try to bring blame on them.
3. Give some space to your ex
This step may be harder to do than all the others, but it is very critical in the healing process. If you just be cool for a while, and leave your ex alone it will allow them to collect their thoughts. It will also give your ex the chance to start to miss you again. If you are constantly communicating with them, then they will not have a chance to miss you.
4. Show your ex that you care about yourself
Prove to your ex that you care about yourself and that you are not totally devastated by the break up. Keep up your appearance, hang out with your friends, go to movies, go to concerts and events. Do anything that will show them that you are not just sitting around waiting for them. If you seem desperate and pathetic, like you cannot live without them, this can actually drive your love farther away from you.
5. Be unavailable to your ex sometimes
It is best to not be there sometimes when your ex calls. It will make them think about you and wonder what you are up to. Don’t jump all over the cell phone when your ex calls. Let it go to the voice mail and then call them back the next day. Make it appear that you are busy and not jumping out of your shoes whenever you see their number show up on your phone. This is a counterintuitive, psychological tactic, but it can do wonders to make you look more attractive to your ex. This will increase the chance of you getting your ex back.
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